New Years Resolutions

1. No Spending

• No unnecessary spending such as any and all "shopping". This includes anything for purely aesthetic, recreational or non-essential purposes as somewhat defined below.
  
• No "quick trips" with unplanned purchases. Example: Diapers - okay; Sale tupperware - not okay.
  
• No gift shopping in the form of brand-new-commercialist-crap-they-probably-don't-need-but-may-or-may-not-want. Sorry. Gift cards, cash or vintage only.
• No little "nickle-n-dimer's". Is a thank you card essential? Yes. Is a thank you card from Hallmark essential? NO. Can we make something just as lovely and maybe even a bit sentimental? Yes! ---- Is lotion essential? Probably. Is it necessary to have 3 for $10 just because? Nope. Get my point?
• Essentials vary but probably will include: food, hair cuts (no pedis, sorry!), diapers, general toiletries, small necessities like probiotics for babies and vitamins, cat food, vet bills etc.

You may ask, "Hey you have a baby, don't you need to clothe him?". Well, yes but not in brand-new-wear-'em-twice outfits. It is very hard to say no to cute baby clothes; in fact it is a general downfall of mine, especially pajamas. Everywhere we go we buy pajamas because they are "so cute"! So the plan is to simply buy used for a year and see how it goes. I'd like to buy used forever and save the savings as that's the point (root word: save).

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Things I want to spend money on:

2. Investments - not financial investments.

• Invest in our bodies. I want to make sure we spend money on healthful, wholesome foods and not garbage despite the potential for savings. $5 Hot-n-Ready or $10 Salmon fillet? That's what I mean. In addition to food, I think it's important to spend money on all check ups such as dentist, optical and in Barry's case cholesterol checks. That's the joy of pre-tax flex spending. Yay! Maybe even a couple of gym memberships?
  
• Invest in our relationships. I want to make sure we all have time together to refill our cup-o-loves, so to speak. While Barry is happy spending $50 at a crappy restaurant (sorry B its true, but I do love cheese sticks too) I'd rather take that money and save it and spend it on an activity (besides eating!) together and I KNOW Barry agrees. So we'd like to take some classes together, to reconnect and build memories. I am looking forward to pottery class (my first pick) and, you guessed it, cooking class, Barry's pick.
  
• Invest in our minds. I will continue to buy used books. Not a lot. Promise. I guess that one sounds a bit like an exception to the rule. Oh well I make the rules :)
• Invest in our families: Anyone say V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N? Maybe Staycation. Roadtrip? Weekend hotel? Motel? Anything? Something!
  
• Invest in our mental health: I will always leave the door open for therapy, alternative medications (I looove my essential oils) and healing as well as practitioners or whatever else seems appropriate.
• Invest in our babies. Well, baby. We are starting up a savings account to put misc monetary gifts and checks into. I assume we will use this for future orthodontics but maybe not hahaha.
• Invest in our assets. Automobiles: I think its probably wise to do more than just oil changes. I think it's time for a full tune up. Actually I want to sell my car, but that's another goal for another day. 401K: check. Life/auto/home insurance. check. Sell our house and save a huge downpayment: In progress.

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What do I hope we accomplish in 2010 as set forth by these resolutions? I like lists so I'll continue here :)

1. Be debt free. Aside from student loans, because once an adviser told me, "those aren't really real debt, they are good debt" - or not.
2. Lessen my personal impact on child labor workers in China by not buying new.
3. Lessen my "Carbon Footprint" by not increasing demand for said new things in China.
   
4. Become healthier, both body and mind, through our investments.
5. Strengthen our family not through consuming things but by creating them.
   

Happy 1 Year Samuel! - December 13th

2009 - Out with it!

Time.com said it best with:

"The '00s: Goodbye (at Last) to the Decade from Hell".

What a year, what a decade -- it's been a 10 years of paradigm shifts (backwards?), realignments and multiple cosmic failures once deemed impossible (an attack on US soil, the financial sector fail, the auto industry crumpling...etc.). Where does that leave us? That's what I have been thinking about with great hope. Things will be better in 2010.

Personally 2009 has been a bad year for many people, ourselves included. Despite having a beautiful baby boy in our lives I am quick to remember that, in fact, he was born in 2008, which makes 2009 an independently bad year. With the nationwide and specifically localized job losses, foreclosures and bankruptcies, once beautiful neighborhoods full of families are now desolate, isolated and empty - like ours. We are ready to move and hit the restart button on our lives. I am ready for a new year full of new promise, new compromises, new priorities and new goals.

Sammy: Nine Months

"The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications.

None of these is you."

- Eckhart Tolle

Awakening

"If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack." A New Earth

Well the day, no the moment, has arrived; my senses can no longer deny the thoughts my brain has so urgently tried to persuade them to feel. This all comes in relation to the way I am living my life, in a long term sense - and specifically financially. Barry and I have spent a lot of time saving and budgeting and managing to accomplish many things [ironic word choice?] because of those two skills. However those accomplishments come with obligation and those obligations come with stress. In the past I have had a tug and pull relationship with the accumulation of things - physical things - some aesthetically pleasing and others simply useful. First being that I don't really care about them. The second being that I am indeed a Nester. On a deeper level, although I could live quite happily as a transient I really would like to "lay some roots" so to speak as I want to establish security for our family. I want to have a place for emotional rest and wellbeing. That is a priority.

Priorities as a whole have shifted since the birth of little Samuel. No longer am I as concerned about having a spacious house for him to live in, but now I am more concerned with being able to take him on exciting excursions and family trips. I am more concerned that he goes to an excellent school and lives in a city with a feeling of community. I want him to experience weekly farmers markets, public transportation and beautiful parks. I want him to see art and I want him to learn about non-American foods and cultures. All these things are priceless as the television would say. Everything has instantly become so clear.

I feel that the stress of money can ruin your enjoyment of life and taint the beauty around you because you only start to see and feel the "lack" as stated above. The wonderful things become dark and overshadowed by the debts and burdens. As long as Barry and I are in love and together and as long as Sammy is happy and healthy, well then life is good. Throw in a steady job, a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and health insurance and life is great. I always thought I would be a career woman changing society one client at a time or doing research and living day in and day out in a social lab setting. At this point I can't imagine myself working full time until my children are grown up and in school full time. If it came to the point that I had to work I would; but having to work is relative. Do I have to work because we are outspending our income or living beyond our means? Is that a reason to leave my children for 8 hours a day, to maintain a house that provides security but at the expense of 8 hours of lost mothering nurturance? If I had to work because Barry became sick or injured, then yes, I would jump up in a second, make that half a second. That is a basic no brainer. Yet I can't convince myself that I should be working full time to maintain a life that really does nothing for our spirits. I do want to work part time but really only to pay my student loans and to get some sort of stimulation in that center of my brain.

I am awake. I am happy and truly, I mean truly, I believe that the universe and God will take care of us and with the support of our friends and family we can survive in this crazy career driven, money-money-money, collect-consume-purchase atmosphere. We are considering great shifts in our lives at this very moment and despite the outward appearance of loss and lack; I am anticipating a gift of abundance and well being.

"You might say, “I know I am an immortal spirit,” or “I am tired of this mad world, and peace is all I want” until the phone rings. Bad news: The stock market has collapsed; the deal may fall through; the car has been stolen; your motherinlaw has arrived; the trip is cancelled, the contract has been broken; your partner has left you; they demand more money; they say it's your fault. Suddenly there is a surge of anger, of anxiety. A harshness comes into your voice; “I can't take any more of this.” You accuse and blame, attack, defend, or justify yourself, and it's all happening on autopilot. Something is obviously much more important to you now than the inner peace that a moment ago you said was all you wanted, and you're not an immortal spirit anymore either. The deal, the money, the contract, the loss or threat of loss are more important. To whom? To the immortal spirit that you said you are? No, to me. The small me that seeks security for fulfillment in things that are transient and gets anxious or angry because it fails to find it. Well, at least now you know who you really think you are." - A New Earth

I am so excited for our future. I love my family and wish health, peace and wellness for all we love.

We are home.

We are home and have been for a bit now. More to come soon.

The Health Care Debate Is Making Me Sick by Brian Unger

NPR: August 10, 2009
Full story here

The health care debate is toxic, revealing a lot about us as a nation. And it feels embarrassing — like the whole world can see our underpants. Or hear us fighting in the kitchen.

First, most of us can't describe accurately the details of the health care reform now under debate. That makes us look stupid or too busy to care.

Second, most of us can't describe accurately the health care or insurance we currently have, so that makes us look kind of stupid, too, or lazy.

Some of us don't care about people who don't have health insurance, so that makes us seem unsympathetic or super lucky.

Most of us don't understand that we're already paying for people who don't have health care — which makes us too busy to care, in denial or merely rich.

Some of us — a lot of us — already receive health care under some form of government plan, but don't believe in health care under some form of government plan. That makes us hypocritical or selfish. In some camps, I hear that makes us patriotic.

A lot of us are a combination of these things: too busy, lazy, a bit stupid perhaps, lucky, unsympathetic, in-denial, really rich, hypocritical, selfish ... and patriotic..........

[read end of article here on NPR]

Asleep in the hammock

We had a lovely dinner last night with my friend Kisaki and her husband Alex, daughter Mana and her mother in law Karen.
They help Mana, who is 9 months old, fall asleep each night by swinging her gently in the hammock outside. Sammy gave it a try and moments later was passed out.

First International Trip with Mr. Wiggles

Well it's all booked, but nothing really planned - we are headed to the UK August 19-29th to visit our very missed friends and family. It has been four years since we have been there, so the trip is long overdue. Unfortunately the circumstances are not the most ideal as we are going to spend time with Barry's lovely grandmother who is suffering [bravely] from stomach cancer. There is no treatment. At a time where gifts and tokens seem impossibly insignificant, we are hoping to bring her some bits of joy by introducing her to her one and only great-grand son. She is blessed with a great-grand daughter, Ella, and I am sure seeing her lovely face helps her through each day. It is moments in life, such as this, that make you wonder why we spend all of our time accumulating things that in the end mean nothing. What matters is the time we spend together and the experiences we accumulate. What matters is the way we love our families and the way we raise our children - not what we wear or where we live. We are very eager to arrive and very appreciative that we will have the opportunity to see her as well as everyone else we are pining to see. It will be a good trip, regardless of the circumstances. Can't wait to see you all! xoxox - B&B